its hard to know what you want

"I'm here at this point in time.
And I see myself how I want to be in the future.
I want to get there.
So in being here how do I arrive there?" asked the student to his more experienced fellow.

"But there in lies the question," is his response.

"So then should I just go out and try everything that should get me in that direction?"

A simple, "No" comes from the elder.
"You should make sure that what you want to achieve is what you want to achieve!"

"But I am sure that this is what I see myself doing", the student replies.

"Ahh, but can you see yourself doing something else as well? The generalist cannot go out and achieve a hundred things at once you see!", says the elder. "You must first improve what you see as your weak point and then forever on focus on your strong points!"

"Is this why it seems is so few generalists out there?", the student inquires.

"It depends on how you define it because everyone can do more than one thing well, but only generalists strive to do so many things well. It is truly not bad to be well rounded, but it is a shame to allow yourself to be lost in a sea of competition."

So exporting from word is…

Too say the least at least mildly difficult. The set-up of the account to export directly to blogger goes very well and is as easy as signing into the account on the blogger website. However, I had written out a mildly quick but long bit of information dump from my 2 week hiatus of writing anything on this blog. So to clear up anything and to make sure that this useful service works well I will try to upload this blog. The service working well in the sense that not having to open up a browser and navigate to the blogger website is only mildly useful. But add on the fact that I'm a generalist who just likes to get stuff working and you'll see my desire to see such a service up and running!

Anyways last time I tried this Word 2007 just refused to do it and then minutes later crashed! Losing all of my goodies! So I guess I will have to keep trying. And at least copy-and-paste my work before I try sending.

But it looks like now it was just a glitch in the large truck known as the Internets. For exporting went seamlessly this time around. Now to see if I can edit and re-post from Word 2007. And yes it seems like I can!

So that was just a little odd then. My only difference in the approach is how I first wrote up the majority of the text. On the failed attempt I had exported it from a word file to a Blog template. This time around, I had begun writing in the blog template, which obviously has proven to be a beneficial fruit in providing knowledge.

So this is what love feels like

After just pushing myself to get stuff out of the way which was quite easy with this girl as I feel really natural with her. Maybe that's because of our constant email messages back and forth.

I had asked her that we keep it casual. I already saw how I failed when trying to dress all fancy schmantzy.

For the first date I finally got her up to Blanchard, I didn't want to kiss her then and there. I wanted to, but I didn't want to have to worry about the ride home. Heading down the hill, I had to refuel the car. While refueling I noticed she was putting lip-gloss on. I knew what she wanted. But always skirted around it til we got home. Then I went for 'em. I went big and her mouth wasn't that big so its definitely funny. But it summed up the night somewhat more, when I did a more conceded but makeout-esque kiss on her porch. And that's as nostalgic and traditional as those things have been going for me.

I've gone past the 2nd date now its time for the third! Looks like I'll be doing this for awhile.

Win some, lose some, but that's life!

She said she would like to do this again. I took it with a grain of salt.
I thought to myself, hell maybe I still have a chance.
I decided to go with what I forgot to say at the very beginning.
"You look great"
I concentrated too much on the words. I didn't even look her in the eyes as I said it.
I did good otherwise except for these things: pay attention guys!

Always go and try to flatter, don't go too far, you want her to be comfortable so you can too.
Just say she looks great at the beginning and you'll be good if you're good at talking and having fun.

Follow your manners. Don't scourge down on too much food. Or take you time. If she orders something light. Try to follow suit.

It may seem easy to say that you've been paying attention but, when she gives ques saying she wants to do dinner again. Follow suit. Look into her eyes and acknowledge that she may mean it. Respond as needed. Think of something to do next time, or just say you'll call her. You'll get farther than me.


And that about wraps up everything I didn't do tonight. Thought I had it down, and had little nerves; but for me being a Gentleman I was not.

Good luck. And I'm gonna need it too.

Whoah! So which way does everything fall?

My beautiful prospect couldn't make it out Thursday although I kept in touch with her through the day through TXTs. Had too much work and is doing 3 people's jobs right now. Totally talks like me too saying peeps and all. This economy sucks! And now she's gone this weekend too to see her dad for Easter : (
Anyways probably just jumping to conclusions but I really, really like the potential of where this could be going. As she removed the craigslist post for her the morning after her and I had our phone conversation. Definitely something may be going on. Yeah for me and us!
I just need to talk to her in person and we'll see where we wanna go with it. I'm too much of a romantic and she's sorta a bad ass but that's what I want. I want it bad. And maybe she wants it good.
After our rescheduled date on Monday, I'm gonna have to jump on the honest confession wagon and drop or at least owe the other girl who I had set up a date with first that dinner or lunch I had promised. I feel really bad about it, but I guess I'm not playing her. Its just a date! I don't want to be a player and I don't want to break hearts! She just lucked out and above all she needs to know to look elsewhere.
Ughh, to be a morally grounded virgin stuck between a war of different suitors that only I can stop.
*Now there's a cute Russian chick that's interested. Since when the hell did I become so good at this? Wait, that's where these problems are coming from. Too much of it. I can't do that!

Well, I'm definitely learning

Got in touch with a girl who later revealed she had gotten outta High School when she was 15, so I was a little unsure, but since she writes totally normal and sounds random like me so why not? She shouldn't be some meth-head right?

Guess what?!?

Total hottie (from her pics) and smart and quirky too. (Had a lengthy phone conversation!) My type of bad girl?
We'll see after tomorrow. ; ) Dinner with her, right near my apt. so you know where that could lead! ; )
I am glad I still don't have neighbors underneath me and that my roommates are never around.

But I am probably just getting ahead of myself!

UPDATE: May I play the 'Price is Right' Losing Theme. The date was fun but I was too nervous and sometimes found myself utterly silent. Never worry about yourself, they're are either gonna like you or not, but having it hidden under 'the fear' will never let yourself shine through. For my first official date, I'd rate myself at about a C maybe a B-. Let's just say it was far from exemplary.

I don't really know what made me do it

Love is harsh. It is a gamble always.
Especially in dating over the net or through a friends quick suggestion.
I just wanted to be a part of the game that allows life to continue on this planet.
I got the number of somebody too young for me, have talked to an awesome girl in La Conner, trying to set up a date with a girl that shares my interests and one that wants to explore my hometown of Fairhaven, part of Bellingham.
I don't know where this roulette wheel will land, but I guess that's the journey of it.

So this is what it has come to

Well I jumped off the band wagon of calling said girl from a previous post she wrote because she is either not picking up her phone or doesn't "need" me. Whatever. I am totally glad to say I tried.
It definitely got me down though while at the Costco and seeing couples of every fucking age group. Many mine.

I decided to change that so I got onto the internet and the hunt began. So much of that shit is scam related though.

I have talked to one that I may or might not have a relationship with as I only wanted to cheer her up. I then have a intelligent sounding girl awaiting for me to come up with a good time for a date after several replies back and forth.
Then there's one more that if the pictures are accurate is an amazing find. Quite possibly the hottest artist I've seen, pretty sure she's liberal too based on her attire. My age as well, but awaiting any info leaks to see if its a scam. She told me to get some registration while at the same time mentioning meeting at a coffee place today in truly legitimate sounding talk. She mentioned peculiarities about Bellingham that makes me hope she's real. The only catch is that she mentioned I call her though she never ever provided her number in the several replies between us.
WTF!

On a better note. I'm in the talks of setting a date with that intelligent sounding girl from Lynden. She doesn't seem stuck up or anything and I can't wait to see her blue eyes. Hopefully, Wednesday or Thursday will bring me what I am looking for. But having no clue what she looks like...ughhh. Too caught up in looks now I guess.

*Update. My mind felt a little at ease at work today. It was odd. Also after I wrote this blog up, i got in a conversation with a girl about walks in Fairhaven. She said she struck out on all info items, although she later pointed out she was still interested. Of course fate stepped in for 20 minutes killing my stolen WiFi and she thought I was refusing to respond. I tried clarifying several times, and fulfilled her mention of wanting a picture of me. Still awaiting from her.

Also unsure of my choice of said likable girl ready for our date. She looks good as a brunnette, and claims its growing back in. Don't want to break her heart, but still want to meet her.

Oh, and that one artist girl. SCAM! Damn you Melody Millins!

A wipe of the board

Apparently some drunks were over at my house and had erased what I had originally put on the whiteboard:

Idiots are people that don't learn from their mistakes

and changed it to:

Idiots are people that don't call a bitch mo den twice!

Ughhh. OK. Guys I get it. I guess thinking maybe that I needed a breather to get that devastating stuff that my friend just dumped on me last Saturday was to big a breather. Sunday and Monday were hard but damn they're right. I'm calling her soon.
As soon as I figure just what the hell to do.

*Update, that bitch was 16!

OK so Corrections and Grammar.

If you have read my blog...
Hell,
if anyone's ever read my blog then you have probably noted some minor spelling and grammatical errors.

I have sought out to correct this from happening but of course being so willing to let out my words into the tubes of the internets so quickly, I fail to look over much of what I had written.
To stop such a predicament from snowballing into me spending several hours reading all of my blog posts. I think I will add a one day delay to everything that I want to post.
If I want to post ASAP then I will of course realize that having my writing noted as being free from spelling errors as more important then looking like some average ranter.

I'm striving to be above average.

On another note, I'll try to maybe type these up when I am more awake and perhaps do them offline before hand. This too will fix odd nonsensical remarks that even upon looking at them immediately after typing, look pretty much retarded.

And I am not retarded. Just special. Special enough to compete against Obama in the Special Olympics.
Insert Goofy Smiley face here!

Thanks!

So this week was all relevant into itself.

Don't ask me why. The universe works in mysterious ways. And my whole week was only a precursor to the weekend in ways only now that I am uncovering.

People, actually friends, at work were showing me some pretty non-PC pictures just for the shock factor. I claimed my week was ruined as a defensive maneuver. The same friend then filled me in that my friend accidentally gave up the supposed DDS (deep dark secret) of his girlfriend's mom working there. Hilariously enough, I don't know why they were still hiding it. So many people could pick out the idiosyncrasies of the daughter and the mom that to them it was just fine to let my friend and his GF continue on thinking they were hiding something from us. Its a secret but it is in no way dark.

I got a fortune cookie saying I would try a new thing and like the results. I thought I had opened my friends by accident considering we both threw ares into a pile. I like knowing what I grabbed is mine. Mixed in by fate to be somewhat true. I only need to know if reading such things causes what it says to happen to happen. But that calls for experimentation, where as I currently like the system in place.

Later I met up with more friends to got some food at the NEW Sonic in Ferndale. We spent a little while talking to the order-taker through the menu list. If you've been to a Sonic then you know what I am talking about. Anyways the girl gave me her number and for the first time in my life I've been assertive in pursuing such things. Its an odd feeling considering that last week I was a little concerned at whether I would be able to commit to such games. Trying a new thing I am.

The next day, I came across my friend looking into space. Eventually he gave in. His deep dark secrets I now know. I couldn't see this coming. I was surprised and at the same time struck with awe at how the hell he could hold such a things inside of himself for more than a decade. Although I left with a scar from the knowledge now in in my mind, its to make his scars a little less deep. And I am fully willing to do that as a friend.

And so it takes the path of least resistance.

Work is going well. We've had the SMT line up and I've been getting good overtime.
It pays money, and I like money. I like money because having this particular IBD is expensive. And I've finally convinced myself for all of my futures sakes to diet on a much more tightened and strict list of "good" foods. Hopefully this will pay off and I won't have to go on more medications like I was when first diagnosed. I definitely have respect for many people who are able to face life changes and truly challenge them without breaking down. I've not done so, especially in these last months. Caught staring at the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong? Why didn't have I more fun when I was young?

My whole body needs to rest too. How am I supposed to get better if I ain't sleeping.

Maybe I should get to it then, instead of writing blogs.

So the confusion lifts

Why is it that everything I thought I knew about people changed. Is it because I have changed. Just like watching a movie many years later, its the same movie yet its different because you are different. It seems like everyone is doing crazy stuff again. Without logic or reason, or for that matter any connection to what was said by them just a week before. Is this what they've become. What I was? A confused individual depressed that the present to the future had no good news for me.

Is everyone crazy or has all of my craziness stacked up to this? Am I now normal in what I thought was a lame direction of life. Have I gotten out of my shell long enough to fully understand the situation that others have gotten themselves into. Some of them shrinking instead of growing like the rest of us.

As people we grow, we chase what makes us happy. We collide over interference from others in pursuing our dreams. Some hold onto what they want even though they can't have it.

Maybe, but just maybe, they'll get it.

For if dreams never came true, then we'd stop having them.
And I hope for my friends sake, that he can let go of the past. I don't want him to hurt himself. He's helped me out some, and I've helped him out alot. I don't need a returned favor, I just don't want to have to rescue him.

No divine intervention here

In all its complexities, what is known as fate, requires that you interact. No divine intervention here.

In order to be seen and known you have to get out there.

I watched the Watchmen

I'm still feeling very good after seeing that movie. In a caveat though I wish I was able to experience the whole graphic novel before hand. I had read over it in about a total of 45-minutes. And this was skimming too. Anyways that aside, the movie was great. The music although maybe badly mixed at times included a well arranged soundtrack. As far as I know, none of the tracks were original. But this does not hamper the film in anyway. We are talking about a movie that was supposed to occur back in that same year that Marty Mcfly made that trip back 30 years into the past remember. We are talking about a universe where Richard Nixon uses these superhumans to win the Vietnam war, and therefore succeed in allowing him and his cabinet a 3rd term.

This is a fantasy universe of our past, a past where the world will end. Nuclear arms tensions between Russia and the US are at an all time high. 4 Minutes to midnight being it's peak. I knew these things when I entered the theater. I could of saved a dollar waiting in line for 20 seconds but Fandango insured I get in ahead of the other 20 people. So here it goes...

I'm getting the feeling I'm tired of superhero movies. Maybe Spiderman 3 just left that bad of a taste in my mouth. I really liked the Spiderman movies til that point, as I felt like Peter Parker but this about the Watchmen. This movie may have reinvigorated that thought of being powerful against tyranny, against the sins of man for the light of justice. This film is more than just superhero movie.
It is a movie, of people placed in a situation where some are powerless, some are both powerful and all-knowing. Super villains though mentioned are missing, although this is arguable. That's where this movie and the book makes its stake. It places the viewer or for the novel, the reader, on a journey of emotions and sacrifice. Not against a specific enemy but the whole journey of moral questioning that would occur to those responsible for justice. Being a superhero is harder than it looks. They are still human, although some may have forgotten how to be human. Is it worth holding a secret of why many lives were lost to prevent complete destruction of the Earth. Is the Earth worth keeping. As many scenes from the film will show you, we are bloody, we are sexy, we are viscious, we are compasionate, and we can be emotionless.
Most of the graphic intensity te be witnessed later in the film can be some upped by a very well crafted opening credits sequence to the tune of "Times they are a changing". From WWII to the present of 1985, news items and notable events, are remixed to include the pasts first heroes. The JFK assanination shown in gruesome detail, the burning monk shown for too long. This is what happens in real life, this is what already did happen. If these things make you queasy then see this film at your own discretion, remember it's from an adult comic book. If these feelings leave you fairly quickly then, maybe you should spend less than ten bucks to see this film. But make sure you have a 3 hour gap in your schedule.

Superhero movies with out the heroes?

Or just without the valid script to legitimately explain why some people can Teleport ala the movie Jumper or why they have Telekenesis as in the newest action film and hopefully the last, Push. Are the directors going for action and action alone? I don't intend to see this. I don't intend to see Jumper, ever either! But I just want to know what is up with this new direction in action movies?

Did they see that Spider Man 3 sold well despite being a script flop?

If you took a Superhero movie like those Fantastic Four flicks and then added tons of awesome action sequences, you're already on your way towards making one of these newer films. I don't even know what to call them. Action works. So lets stick with that for a genre.

The one thing that does connect these films is a psychic power. So what's the next one gonna be since Telekenesis is now used and Teleportation is now used? Mind Reading? Oh, wait that was already done in that Mel Gibson movie, What Women Want!

So apparently Comcast in the North West is still trying to indoctrinate all us that we don't need Fiber Optic internet. Why? Because we already have it. And according to their ads, it's already in our backyard. Now the suits there in there advertising division knew exactly what that entails and well, it leaves them scott-free. Backyard is such an open word.
The one thing that isn't though is their hidden explanations of at what point do they draw the line. For many months now they've been saying we're on their fast Fiber Optic backbone. Wait, is that new? I hope not, barely any of the internet is on Coaxial cable, considering that everything that crosses to the Eastern Hemisphere continents to us, jumps the Atlantic through the use of a Fiber Optic line. A line that was placed there in the early 80's. Wow pretty new, and pretty high tech stuff for the internet to run don't you think. Now, I'm just waiting for Comcast to start telling us how proud we should be of their service seeing that it uses TTL (Transistor-Transistor Logic) technology.